Am I Cursed?
by 21softballstar
Summary: A simple descriptive one-shot of when Loki discovers he is Laufey's son and nothing but a stolen relic. A monster. A Frost Giant.
**Well, I decided to write something new. A simple one-shot of Loki here, right when he discovers he is Laufey's son. This is such a heart-wrenching scene I want to cry every time I watch it. Tom Hiddleston really brought out the character, and I love him-both actor and character-all the more for it.**

 **So here it is. All I did was rewrite the scene and add some more emotion to it for fun. Enjoy (or not...) and please review!**

Loki walked up to the Tesseract. It sat there. Blue. Untouched. Glowing with the secrets of his family's past. Of his past.

So many emotions flooded Loki's mind. He didn't know what to think, what to believe. Part of him wanted to believe all of this had been a big misunderstanding. The fight with the Frost Giants? When he had seen…no, it wasn't real. Maybe he had imagined it.

But another part of him knew something was being hidden—kept from him. How many secrets did Loki not know of? What did his father not wish to tell him?

Loki reached out for the stone and grasped it. He felt this odd power surge through him—something unexplainable. He felt cold and weak, yet…so powerful. He closed his eyes as he fingered the stone. Images came rushing through his brain. Frost Giants…Odin…

His brain hurt. He felt his face change, as if he was morphing into a different person. He'd never felt this way before, and as he continued to change, holding this precious blue stone, he didn't know whether to like it or not.

" _Stop_!"

His father.

Loki gently placed the stone down and called out. "Am I cursed?" It honestly felt like that. He didn't want to look at his hands, see his face, but he knew what happened to him already. His skin felt cold, his emotions were changed. He didn't feel sad, happy, or confused. He simply felt angry. Angry at his father.

"No."

 _No?_ That was it? His father obviously knew what was happening to him, and yet he refused to explain. He refused to comfort Loki, to tell him he wasn't a monster, he was going to be fine. This was all a misunderstanding. That moment when he and his brother had been fighting the Frost Giants—yes, that was all not real. A huge mistake.

"What am I?" A simple question asked, an honest answer needed. Yet Odin did not give him an honest answer.

"You are my son."  
His son? _His son?_ A lie. An obviously lie, and Loki couldn't stand to hear any more lies.

He turned to Odin. The one had had called his father for many years. The one he considered his father, while Frigga his mother. He turned, and he could feel his skin turn from chill to warm. His emotions came back to him. He felt powerless. He felt odd. And yet, this is the way he had felt his entire life. Had it really been like that? Had he really always been so weak, so sad, so unimportant?

Loki straightened and stared his father in his one good eye. "What more than that?"

When his father refused to answer, Loki marched down the steps towards him and pointed. "The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?" It all made sense. Perfect sense, yet as Loki waited for his answer—the answer that would change his entire life forever, past and future—he wished it didn't make sense. He wished this wasn't real. He wished he had never gone with Thor to Jotunheim to fight this Frost Giants. He wished he had left the quest earlier, before the Frost Giant touched him, before he began to wonder. Why did Thor have to be such a stupid idiot brother, anyway?

"No," his father said. He struggled to get the words out as Loki stood there, awaiting his answer. "In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple and found a baby. Small for a Giant's offspring, abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son."

 _"_ _Laufey's son?"_ It didn't...it couldn't… He was _Laufey's_ son? He was a Frost Giant? The monsters he had just tried to destroy. The _things_ his brother despised. Wished to kill. Loki remembered that moment. The time when young Thor had prided himself on how many Frost Giants he would slay. How he would save the world and everyone in it, and Loki had agreed with him. The Frost Giants needed to die. They destroyed everything and threatened Asgard. And now Loki was one of them. His father was Laufey. What would Thor say now? Would he still want to kill the Frost Giants? Even now that his brother was one of them? No, Loki and Thor weren't even brothers anymore. They were enemies.

"Yes," his father—no, Odin—said. Almost as if agreeing with Loki's thoughts.

"Why?" Loki choked out, his eyes filling with tears that he quickly blinked away. "You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?" It didn't make sense, yet…it did. It didn't matter that he had apparently been abandoned and was suffering there—as a child—by himself. Odin didn't care about that. He had just slain the Frost Giants. He had just killed Loki's _family_. Why would he take him? Why not leave him? He had just finished battle—

"You were an innocent child."

Innocent… Half of the people in that battle were innocent! Loki had heard the stories. He knew the truth. But not this truth.

"No. You took me for a purpose. What was it?"

No answer. Odin only stared at him, his mouth agape, as if wondering how Loki had even comprehended this much of the story. Well, Loki knew now, and he wasn't ever going to let it go. He was Laufey's son afterall.

When Odin refused to answer, Loki shouted, " _Tell me!"_ His eyes flooded with tears. He tried to blink them away, but couldn't. His thoughts just kept coming back to Thor. Thor wanted to kill the Frost Giants. Thor wanted to kill him.

"I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace…through you."

Almost unable to comprehend all that had happened, Loki only managed to utter a quiet, _"What?"_

"But those plans no longer matter."

They no longer matter? Why? Because…because Loki now knew? He discovered the truth? Because he _knew_ he was Laufey's son, and therefore the plans wouldn't work, according to Odin?

"So…I am nothing more than a stolen relic, locked up here until you may have use of me?" And it seemed he was. Loki was never told anything. He was expected to be the good, quiet, responsible son. The one who listened. The one who never rebelled. The one who wasn't Thor. The one who was expected to just keep himself locked up in this palace, awaiting the time he would rule the throne after Thor. And until then, he wasn't supposed to utter a word of complaint. He wasn't supposed to be off picking fights, like Thor. He was supposed to keep hidden, for if he didn't, he may discover the truth, as Loki just had. And now, Odin's precious plans were ruined. His plans. Was that really all he cared about?

"Why do you twist my words?" Odin asked, growing angry. As if he had the right to be angry.

"You could have told me what I was from the beginning!" Loki cried. "Why didn't you?" Why keep the secret? Who else knew? Frigga? _Thor?_ Loki had been believing this entire time that Thor hadn't known about his secret past, but what if he did? He'd looked down on Loki in complete distain this entire time. Maybe he had even plotted to kill him. Maybe he'd sincerely meant it when he said he'd kill all the Frost Giants—and that included Loki himself. Maybe Thor had let the secret slip there, and Loki had been too arrogant to understand.

"You're my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth."

 _Protect me from the truth?_ The truth of what? That he was Laufey's son, Thor wasn't his blood-brother, Frigga not his mother, and they all wished to destroy him one way or another? Maybe not him directly, but they had used him. They had wanted to only use him. He was nothing, really, but a simple stolen relic. Odin didn't care. Thor either didn't know or didn't care. And Frigga…

Loki's anger bubbled. He felt so lied to, so un-loved, that he no longer knew what to think and who too believe. "What, because I… I… I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?"

That's all he was. A monster. He couldn't even be defined as _Laufey's son,_ because it didn't matter who's son he was. It only mattered that he was one of the monsters Asgard wished to destroy. He was the monster in the stories Frigga read at night. He was the monster in his nightmares as a young child. He was the monster him and Thor ran away from when playing. Imaginary, it seemed, but now Loki knew he was exactly what young Thor had run from. He was the imaginary monster Thor had slain with his sword. It was him.

"No! No!" Odin called out as Loki continued to fume with anger. He toppled over on the steps, but Loki hardly noticed.

"You know it all make sense now, why you favored Thor all these years." Oh, how it made such perfect sense. Odin never considered him his son. Only a piece in his puzzle, and without Loki, his precious plans would be ruined.

Loki towered over Odin now, as he lay on the ground, ill. Yet Loki didn't notice. His feelings bubbled with anger. He continued, eyes brimming with tears, "Because no matter how much you claimed to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!" And that's exactly what he was. A Frost Giant. It didn't matter that he had been related to royalty for years, or supposedly Thor's brother. He was a Frost Giant, and everyone would look at him differently because of it.

Loki turned away, unable to look at Odin. He had such hatred for him now—for everyone. He could have been told… He had spent his entire life believing he was Odin's son. Thor's brother.

" _Both of you were born to be kings!"_

Isn't that what Odin had said?

Pathetic.

Thor was right. He was an old man and a fool. And Loki could care less now.

Loki began to leave, hoping to walk off and escape the world. Escape Odin, Thor, Frigga, everyone. But as he did, he noticed Odin lying on the ground, unmoving. Completely overcome with newfound emotions, Loki bent over him.

"Guards!" he called. "Guards, please help!"

Immediately the guards rushed in and hurried to carry Odin out. Loki began to follow, but before he did, he turned and eyed the Tesseract one last time.

 _Laufey's son!_

 _Stolen relic!_

 _Monster!_

The truth hurled its insults at him. His newfound definitions. Everything that would describe him from now on. He grit his teeth, closed his eyes, and walked out.

This wasn't over.


End file.
